One year later

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One year ago today, you left us unexpectedly and somehow I put it together long enough to write this. I think today on the anniversary of your passing, I’m sort of caught with a bunch of conflicted emotions that I don’t know how to make sense out of. I can’t believe it’s been an entire year. I can’t believe all of the things that have happened that I want to tell you about. I can’t believe I didn’t buy you a birthday present for the first time this year, and that the trip to Home Depot to get your live Christmas tree won’t be happening. I can’t accept your playful guff about how your Yankees won the World Series in their new stadium.

When I went to go see you a few weeks ago, I knew that you were still with me. The place where you lie now is peaceful, and brings me peace and solace. When we talk, I know you’re listening. When you brought snow last night, just like you did on the day you left, I know it was because you wanted us to remember again. And when you brought us a beautiful winter day to remember you again, I know it’s your way of saying “I’m ok”. And it’s not like we’ve ever forgotten.

We’re all ok too. But we miss you. And next time I come to see you, I’ll have a Yankees World Series cap in tow. Just because.

And you’ll always be riding with us – I named my new car Deb, because it’s going to keep us safe, and take us to great places. Something I know you would have always wanted.

We always love you. We’ll always remember.

Thank you for all you’ve done for me.

9 thoughts on “One year later

  1. Matt, never forget. <3 I am not going to lie, it doesn’t get any easier and the holidays are the worst. But, just remember that you are still here to live through her memories everyday. You are a great person with a big heart, this is a beautiful post. 🙂

    Huge warm hug from my family to yours.
    -Miss D

  2. Much love, my friend. My life has changed immeasurably for knowing you, and though I never had the privilege to meet your mother, I know that who you are is a reflection of the love she brought into your life.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your family today (and all the other days, too.)

  3. Matt, I think of you every day and I thank God that somehow our paths crossed and I found such a kindred spirit and true friend. Your strength and grace throughout the past year have been incredible to watch, and has made me that much prouder to know you. I know your mom would be so proud of all that you’ve achieved, and that she is always with you. You’re very loved.

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